A note on language: “Erotic” here means life-force energy, the feeling that your relationship is a living, breathing thing rather than a comfortable arrangement. Desire doesn’t fade because love fades. It fades when there’s no space left for wanting. This worksheet maps what creates aliveness in your specific relationship, and helps you tend it deliberately.

Every couple has a dance — a choreography of moves and countermoves that plays out on autopilot. Nobody is the villain. Both partners are caught in the same trap, each one’s behaviour perfectly triggering the other’s. The first step out is seeing the steps clearly.

A plant doesn’t fail because you stopped loving it. It fails because it wasn’t getting what it needed to grow. Relationships work the same way. Most couples aren’t failing, they’re just operating in the wrong conditions, without knowing what conditions they actually need. This worksheet helps you identify your root needs: the specific forms of nourishment that allow you and your relationship to truly flourish.